I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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