The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just invented taco cereal.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
