my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize