barbara walters just said penis...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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