Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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