he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
