Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
