bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize