My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
