Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I didn't notice because vodka
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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