I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
