Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
