So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
