Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
