I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
