then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
