Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize