Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize