Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Houston, we have a squirter
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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