Don't make out with my wife yet
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
