Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
