put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
