You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
