Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I cannot find my penis.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
