Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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