im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize