If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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