grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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