I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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