I'm really into asian looking animals
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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