Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
