That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
