Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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