It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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