Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We're too hungover to prance.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
