Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
