Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
