i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
