guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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