At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
