I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize