Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
