Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
