Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
