Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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