did you get engaged???
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
