I bet he comes in French.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
