I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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