if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
