THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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