I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
