it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
