thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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