i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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