Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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