ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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