This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
