I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
