do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
