i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
