mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
